Lather Before You Shave
Lather before you shave. One of my upline leaders said this to me early in my career because I had (still working on it) a tendency to be blunt. What it means is that you need to preface any constrictive criticism with a complement or a loving statement.
Shaving cream feels good. It smells good. It's soothing. It's fun to play with. It looks like whipped cream. Whipped cream is delicious.
Hard conversations are hard for both parties. No one wants to be in a conversation that starts with we have to talk. And even though no one is getting dumped or fired, you definitely don't want to hear what it said after those 4 words.
But if you lather first, it helps you to come from a positive place. You can acknowledge what's right and what's good. It softens what you have to say, and helps her hear it better.
The handwritten note can be the shaving cream to a hard conversation. Chances are that you're writing complementary, encouraging and loving messages in your handwritten notes. (If you're not, you're doing it wrong, and you probably really need to have someone sit you down and talk about your shaving techniques.) The more notes you send, the more shaving cream you're layering on.
With every note you send, you're building a relationship of trust and respect. You're showing her you care. That foundation makes it easier for you to give feedback and for her to hear what you're saying. And after the conversations that really sting, rereading the notes you wrote, will help soothe her.
When you write notes, don't do it with the intention that they will be used as shaving cream. Write sincerely. Write lovingly. And when you do, you'll be able to talk honestly.
Celebrate every day,